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SO THIS GUY WAS TRYING TO HIT ON THIS GIRL IN MY CLASS TODAY AND THIS HAPPENED

darkarcherprince:

halfoursoul:

Douche: hey
Nice girl:
Douche: HEY
Nice girl: what?
Douche: you know, there should be a warning sign on my dick
Nice girl: excuse me?
Douche: yeah, it should say choking hazard lol *hi fives bros*
Nice girl: isn’t that a label they put on small objects?

http://media.tumblr.com/a6e285808521f074dd93974230d5b333/tumblr_inline_mk9q3w6Kgj1qz4rgp.gif

(Source: parasailin-sarahpalin)

286,835 notes
Alternative phrases to “calm your tits”

kitten-burrito:

mamasam:

kabetown:

  • soothe your boobs
  • de-stress your breasts
  • undo the calamity that is your mammaries
  • adjust your bust before it combusts

I also like:

  • give that chest a rest
  • hakuna your tatas

don’t have a rack attack

(Source: starinhercorner)

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